My Sudden, Cold Beating Heart
by iloveAdamLambert
Summary: For the first time in over a century, I felt it...the beating in the left side of my chest, the blood rushing through my veins, my lungs depending on the sweet air in which I was breathing in. I wasn't dead. I was alive. I wasn't a vampire. I was human.
1. Mud and Death's Alluring Parfum

**DISCLAIMER:** _I don't own Twilight or its delicious charries. I am currently conspiring a devious mission to kidnap the Twilight boys, though. Join me?_

**PLOT: **_It's been about two years after Bella's eighteenth birthday, and the Cullens are gone. Except for one: Jasper. He was banished from the Cullens, so now the poor baby is **all** alone. What if one day Jasper came along another supernatural being and this being told Jasper that she could make him....**human?** What would happen afterwards? Would he and Bella ever come across each other? Would the Cullens come back? DUN DUN DUN._

_(**note:** I suck at summaries. MY BAD.)_

**A/N:**_ 'Kay. So I thought of this idea, and I totally fell in love with it. I kept putting it off and then finally it called to me and said, "Nikkiiii. WRITE MEEE." So, needless to say, I wrote this chapter. I am really proud of it and I hope yall enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. :)  
__  
*kissies*_

Song inspired for this chapter: **"Call Your Name"** by **Daughtry ~~ **

_~Nikki~_

* * *

The ground is uncomfortable. Twigs poke you everywhere you can imagine. Leaves cling to your hair, glued on by sticky mud.

_Mud._

Mud is a nuisance. It stains your clothes. Dirties your skin. Feels gooey. And worst of all…it's brown. No one I have ever met in my entire existence has ever liked the color brown. And if they did…well they sure as hell never told me.

Brown is a disgusting color.

Brown is the color of shit.

Brown is the eye color of the girl who ruined my life.

_Bella. _

I closed my eyes shut and refused to think anymore of _her. _A lot of good that did. It just allowed me to picture the night of her eighteenth birthday party clearly in my head again….

***

"_Give it to me," Bella sighed. I could feel her reluctance and annoyance. An eighteen year old girl who doesn't love presents and attention._

_Only Bella._

_I couldn't see why Edward was so infatuated with this girl. Sure. I felt his love for her and her feelings reflected the same back. It was touching, really. I just didn't understand it. She was an outsider. A human. He almost jeopardized our very existence by just trying to be with her. We wouldn't be able to leave her human. Maybe not now, but eventually he would have to turn her. Edward was dead-set against that idea, but deep down inside he must know that that would be the only way for them to ever be together. Forever anyway._

_Then again…it wasn't my problem. He could do with her what he pleased. I really didn't care. She meant nothing to me. Shitty of me to say, but it's true. As nice as she was to me and everyone else included, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if she left town and never returned. I'd have to put up with Edward's whiny, depressed attitude again. I just wouldn't hang around him, then. It's not like he was ever fun to be around to begin with…_

_Emmett's chuckling interrupted my inner thinking and brought me back to reality._

_I looked back over at Bella. She rolled her eyes at Edward and stuck her finger under the edge of the wrapping paper and yanked it. _

"_Shoot," Bella muttered. _

_And that's when I smelt it._

_The aroma of Bella's blood surrounded the air. It smelt sweet. Sweeter than anything I had ever smelt or tasted in my existence. Venom pooled in my mouth._

_I was no longer Jasper. I was the monster that Maria had created over a hundred years ago. I was the creature of the dark._

_I was a vampire._

_My eyes darkened considerably. I wanted her. I wanted to sink my teeth into her. I wanted her blood to fill my mouth. I wanted her blood to rush through my veins. I had to have her. _

_I lunged for her, only to encounter an obstacle. Edward. He slammed into me with a great deal of force. I shoved at him and snarled and snapped. I was acting like the animal I was. _

_Iron-wrought arms grabbed me from behind and gripped me from taking the life that was mine. Emmett wouldn't let go of me as I struggled against him. I stared at Bella. She wasn't scared. She was in shock. Glass shards had sliced her arm open. Blood was spilling out. It was calling my name. _

_Why was no one reacting the same way I was? Why was I being restrained by Emmett? Why wouldn't he let me go so I could finish her off. _

_What a shame. All of her spilt blood was going to go to waste._

_I could vaguely remember what happened next. Carlisle told Rosalie and Emmett to take me outside. They wrestled me out the door and dragged me far away from the "crime scene". I don't know how far we were, but it was far enough where I couldn't hear what was going on inside the house. _

_Emmett still kept a steel grasp on me and waited for me to calm down. I could feel his infuriating anger and Rose's satisfaction mixed irritation and tinge of worry. _

_Minutes passed. Hell. Hours could have passed and I wouldn't have known. _

_I could feel myself coming back. I was no longer in predator mode. I was Jasper, again._

_I took in a breath of fresh air and exhaled. It wasn't tainted with the sweet mixture of Bella's blood. It was pure, ole, good-fashioned air. _

_I took the opportunity to look at my surroundings. It was a small clearing with little bushes placed randomly everywhere. Funny. I'd never once seen it since we'd lived here. It was like it popped up out of nowhere. Like it was meant for this exact occasion. _

_My own little holding cell._

"_If I let you go, you promise you won't take off running back towards the house?" Emmett gritted through clenched teeth. _

_I promised him I wouldn't. He released me and no sooner than he did, he slammed me upside a tree and thrashed my head against it. He then threw me on the ground. Hard._

_I looked up at him with wide eyes. It wasn't that the beating hurt. I was more shocked than anything._

_Before I could speak, Emmett yelled, "What the fuck, Jazz? What the fuck were you thinking?"_

_My anger bubble burst. "What was I thinking? What the fuck was I thinking? I tell you what I was thinking! Nothing! Nothing at all! I know for a goddamn fact that I wasn't the only one that wanted to suck the life out of her back there! I don't see why you're acting so fucking…weird." I yelled back. _

_Weird was the only word that could describe his behavior. I was always closest to Emmett after Alice. If anything I expected _him _to be on _my _side. _

_He stalked towards me and yanked me up by my shirt, ripping it. He pressed me up against the tree and yelled into my face, "Fuck, Jasper! You almost killed my baby sister!"_

_I heard Emmett's ragged breathing and Rosalie's sharp intake of breath. For a second, her face was blank. As was mine. I was just as surprised as she when I heard what Emmett said. He considered Bella his baby sister?_

_Rosalie's blank expression twisted back into its usual frown, but this time she was glaring at Emmett's back with a look of disdain as if it just slapped her pretty little face off. _

_No, but I had a feeling that if I said the wrong thing, Emmett was going to slap _my _pretty little face off._

"_Your baby sister? When did she become that?" Had I missed Bella's transition from normal human girl all the way to vampire Emmy's baby sis? _

"_When did she…fuck, Jazz. Where have you been the last few months? Bella was already family once Edward decided to be with her." _

_Emmett released his hold from me and dropped me to the ground. He went and stood by Rose, who was still piercing daggers with her golden eyes. He shrugged and focused his attention back on me. _

_I was leaning against the tree that I was just pinned to. Everything was spinning by like a blur. If I had been human, I would have been nauseous and probably would have passed out. Something was wrong._

_Something deep down inside me knew that in the past hour, I had lost everything._

_***_

And I did.

I lost everything that mattered to me.

After Edward took Bella home, Alice came to me in the clearing and told Emmett and Rosalie to leave. She was furious. She yelled at me; told me that I almost killed her sister. She said she couldn't take it anymore. She had spent too much of her life taking care and keeping an eye on me. I had been emotionally draining her for years. That's when it hit me, of course…

_Alice didn't want me, anymore. _

I knew she still loved me, cared for me, but I going down and dragging her along with me. Staying abstinent from human blood was difficult for me, yes. Without Alice to help me through all these years, there was no way I would even be where I am today.

Alice told me that they were leaving Forks and that it would be wise if I didn't go with them. She said it was for my own good; that if I even came near them, Edward would throw a bitch fit.

Okay. My words, not hers.

So I was banished from the Cullen coven. I had no one. Well, that wasn't particularly true. I could always go back to Maria.

No, I couldn't. That life was over for good. If there was any chance that Alice and the others would take me back, it would be diminished if they found me raising and destroying newborns down in Texas.

_Who are you kidding, Jazzy-boy? They'll never want you back. _Alice _will never want you back. _

Somewhere inside me knew that Alice could never accept me back. Especially after the incident at Bella's birthday party.

_Bella. _

I had no idea what happened to Bella after that night. I knew the Cullens had left and hadn't taken Bella with them. I felt a twinge of sympathy for her. She thrived on Edward like plants did on water. He was her life support and he left her.

The situation was similar to Alice and I's. Alice was the light that illuminated my eternal darkness. Once she entered my life, I felt as though I could see clearly for the first time. Everything was brighter when she was around. When she left, the light was extinguished.

Forever gone.

Opening my eyes, I sat up and crossed my legs. I had thought about that night an endless amount of times; it seemed to never escape my thoughts.

I breathed an unnecessary sigh and stared up at the hovering trees.

It had been almost two years since they left and I had never gone back to the house. My home was now the clearing in which everyone left me. Before they did leave though, Emmett had brought me some things: clothes, money, some old personal treasures, and other shit. I don't know why he did. It's not like I'd be out adventuring in the 'exciting' town of Forks. The only time I ever retreated from my own little holding cell was when I had to hunt.

Hunt _animals_, of course.

Since I never ventured into town, I was never faced with the temptation of human blood. I was on the verge of actually _liking_ animal blood. A part of me was hoping that Alice would come. She had to see the effort I was doing here, with her visions and all, right?

_Alice isn't coming back. She doesn't want you. She doesn't love you…_

"Shut up!" I yelled as I yanked my hair. My pessimistic side was slowly taking over, consuming me.

I needed a distraction. I needed to hunt.

I jumped up and raced into the neighboring woods…in the opposite direction of the empty Cullen house.

In a matter of two minutes, I halted to a stop and went rigid. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply. There was a different aroma mixing in the surrounding air. It was sweet fragrance, similar to the scent of fresh, newly bloomed gardenias. Venom pooled in my mouth. There was only one thing that could have triggered such a response.

Human blood.

I took an involuntary step forward and inhaled once more, only to scowl in return. The saccharine perfume no longer penetrated the atmosphere, but instead was replaced with a foul odor. It resembled the smell of rotten flesh and pure filth. I wriggled my nose and stopped breathing.

I took a few more steps toward the unpleasant smell and sniffed quickly. Narrowing my eyes, I treaded along a now visible path, almost impossible to detect underneath the rapid undergrowth.

The scent had now combined with the breathtaking bouquet of gardenias, creating something completely awful.

If I had to choose what death would smell like, this would be it.

_Oh, I'm sorry. We're all out of Chanel No. 5, but we have Death's Alluring Parfum on sale for a measly $39.98.…_

I kept walking at a slow, steady pace, when the warning sirens started going off inside my head, begging myself to go back to the clearing.

"One more minute…" I muttered. I only wanted to see where this trail led to. And what was causing "death's perfume".

A few more steps.

The scent was getting stronger. Almost unbearable.

A few more steps.

I could hear a heartbeat. A human heartbeat.

As I was edging closer to my destination, I suddenly doubled-over, collapsing onto the ground. I couldn't move; I couldn't feel my body. For the first time in over a century, I was paralyzed.

"Ah, Mr. Vitlock. I vaz vondering ven you'd find me," a smooth, French female voice purred behind me.

Then I blacked out.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Yes, a nice little cliffie. PUAHAHA. 'Kay. So I'm, like, FREAKING OUT OVER HERE. I wanna know whatchya think about this chapter. Love it? Hate it? Completely confused? I wanna know. :)_

Reviews are intoxicating. Just like Jasper. :)

I love you fellow FanFiction buddies. ;D

~Nikki~


	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

So you probably hate me by now… I hope that's not the case. But My Sudden, Cold Beating Heart will be put on hold.

I KNOW.

I'm sorry, but I'm dealing with some sad family issues and having clingy ex-boyfriends and semi-stalkerish guy friends are taking away my time with writing this awesome story.

And when I _do_ have time, I'm not in the mood to write any of the story.

I'm sort of hooked on Harper's Island, so if anything, be expecting a fanfiction on _that_.

I posted a little update similar to this on my profile, but if you're anything like me _(which I hope not, 'cuz I'm quite the oddball)_ and you rarely visit a person's profile….well…that's why I'm posting this.

**I will not be abandoning this or this story. **

PLEASE keep that in mind. I'll still be checking FF everyday, so if you wanna PM me and chitchat…then go ahead.

Have any stories you want me to read and review? Offers are totally welcome. I'm just like the next person who enjoys a new good, juicy story! :)

I have a livejournal now, so if you wanna keep up with my weird life…then that would be the place to go! I'll be doing recaps for shows (Harper's Island, True Blood, etc.) so stay tuned.

http:// stranger1011017 . livejournal . com/

Friend me darlings! :D

Btw. This note will be posted on my other story, too, An Unexpected Love.

Okay. So once again. Sorry for the delay…and rambling.

Hope you don't despise me that much. :(

I love you FF buddies! :)

~Nikki~


	3. The Gift of Life

**DISCLAIMER:**_ Don't own Twilight or any of its characters! I do own this storyline and Adorlee! She's my freakin' bodyguard. :)_

**A/N:**_ OMG. OMG. OMG. AN UPDATE. AT LAST? NO WAY! HELLZYAH!!  
I'm excited, too! And you wanna know what an update calls for? Cookies, music, and** one helluva long author's note**._

_**First off**, sorry. So terribly sorry. In my last author's note, I said that I was dealing with some sad family issues. Yeah. They got worse. My father passed away due to brain cancer. Not going to get into detail, but just know that I didn't go run off with my imaginary lover who happens to be named Jasper Whitlock. That hasn't happened. Yet._

_**Secondly**, I'm back bitches!  
__**Thirdly**, excuse the language in this chapter. Jasper is a bitter fella' and besides...this chapter is rated M. Don't like M rated content? Get your caboose on the next train to non-M rated content. :P  
__**Fourthly**, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to a certain _**Violent Pixi**_. If it wasn't for her latest review on this story, I never would have started writing this chapter. So, everyone thank HER. :D_

_**Fifthly**, I want to thank each and everyone of you who was reviewed and/or read this. I know there was only one chapter, but it means a lot that some of you guys are just so patient. I'll get better. I promise. THANK YOU!  
**Sixthly**, this is the end of the author note. Sort of._

_Enjoy this chapter! PLEASE REVIEW. I worked my eyebrow off on this!  
(I'd also like to thank Three Days Grace. Their new album, **Life Starts Now**, is fabulous. Go 3DG!)Love,  
-nikki. :)_

_

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_

**My Sudden Cold, Beating Heart  
**_Chapter Two -- "The Gift of Life..."_

_As I was edging closer to my destination, I suddenly doubled-over, collapsing onto the ground. I couldn't move; I couldn't feel my body. For the first time in over a century, I was paralyzed. _

_"Ah, Mr. Vitlock. I vaz vondering ven you'd find me," a smooth, French female voice purred behind me._

_Then I blacked out._

_***_

I blacked out.

It had been quite a long time since I had slept, let alone been unconscious. Around over 130 years to be exact.

But I ain't gonna lie. It was fucking fantastic.

Even though last time I checked, people weren't usually supposed to be able to think clearly while sleeping.

But what the hell? It was nice. It was damn sure better than being paralyzed. Speaking of that shit…

What the fuck was going on? I wasn't supposed to get paralyzed. I _especially_ wasn't able to sleep. Okay, _black out_. Whatever.

The main thing that was on my mind was who did this to me. It was obvious whoever did do this was a she, and this woman had a French accent. Another thing that was clear was that she could make a more than century old vampire pass out.

Which scared the shit out of me.

I should have listened to the goddamn warning sirens in my head. And to think I thought I was doing good with the whole "refraining-from-human-blood" thing.

_Jazz, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't even human blood! It was that psycho French chick! She lured your ass in!_

Great. I was pitying myself now.

All there was left to do was wait for myself to wake up. If I ever woke up, that is.

***

_Tap, tap._

_What the hell…?_

_Tap, tap._

_Stop that._

_Tap, tap, tap, tap._

"Wakey-wakey, Mr. Vitlock," the silky voice commanded.

I could feel my eyelids involuntarily flutter open, expecting to see my captor. Instead, I saw dark, heavy clouds in the night sky, which scared me more than anything.

Immediately, I jumped into a defensive crouch and whipped my head around, looking for her. I had already started forming many different stratagems and tactics in my head. She couldn't be that difficult to kill; she had a heartbeat after all. One fault against my diet wouldn't hurt…

When I finally rested my eyes on her, my breath hitched in my throat. Her appearance was shocking.

She was about seven feet tall. Paler than a vampire, if possible. Her skin was almost white and appeared to be sleeker than just about anything. Silver eyes, and not just the irises; the whole freaking eye was silver. They would've blended in with her skin if not for the frame of her thick eyelashes. Her full lips stood out on her face being that they were the only part of her body that actually had any color, a light pink. She had straight, platinum blond hair that reached her lower back. A light grey dress enveloped her complete feminine curves, flowing down to her bare feet.

As odd looking as she was, she was striking in every sense and I found myself mesmerized, unable to look away.

"I see you like my appearance, eh?" she chuckled, practically gliding into the middle of the clearing.

"Who are you?" I asked, standing up. I was still wary of her, but some sort of feeling hinted that she wouldn't hurt me as long as I didn't try to attack. The feeling also warned me that if I did attack, I would surely lose.

She smiled, showing a perfect row of sparkling, white teeth. "I am known as Adorlee."

I couldn't help but snort. _Some kind of name that is…_

She squinted at me, her eyelids closing halfway. "And vat do you find so amusing, Mr. Vitlock?"

I squared my shoulders and cleared my throat. "Oh, nothing. I just find your name a little odd, _Adorlee_."

Before I could have counted to three, I was being held by my neck up against the same tree Emmett had had me pinned up against. With her freakishly long arm, Adorlee now had me pinned up above her head.

"I'll have you know my name means 'adored' and 'beloved' in Lateen and Greek," she hissed. Her full silver eyes made it all the more scarier. I seriously had no clue where the hell she was looking. And at that moment I sure wasn't adoring her.

"Okay, okay," I choked out. "It's a pretty name. Think you can let me go, now?"

Adorlee released me and strode back to the center of the clearing.

I swear to God I heard her mutter to herself, "Liar."

_Bitch._

I heaved myself up off the ground and slowly walked towards her. She obviously thought she was something special and I sure as hell didn't want to piss her off. She was quite clearly stronger than me, too.

I also didn't want her to know that I was secretly scared shitless of her.

About ten feet from her, I stopped. _I guess_ she was staring at me. For all I know, she could be admiring my dent in the tree behind me.

Brushing my matted hair back, I casually said, "Well, _Adorlee_," I paused, looking into her silver ovals, "How do you know who I am and how did you find me? And on top of that, what do you want with me?"

That creepy smile crept back up to her face. "So many questions. Should I answer zem, or should I let you suffer in silence?"

Adorlee tilted her head and intently stared at me. I guess.

I clenched my fists. Frenchie was starting to get on my nerves.

_Yeah, she could probably kick your ass, but you could always_ try _to bite her. She has a heartbeat after all. Although, she looks nothing humanlike…._

"I think you should answer them," I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh? Really? And vat are you going to do if I don't?" She smirked. "Will the leetle vampire show its teeth and bite me?"

Before I could send another smartass retort back to her, she continued. "Well, Mr. Vitlock, I vood love to see you try to bite me. Not zat you would even make it near me, but you should know zat my blood runs black. And once entered into your see-stem, you vood rapidly decay. You vood be, oh, how you say it, literally and finally dead."

I gaped at her. _Dude, don't you dare fucking bite her. Don't you dare…._

I had never heard or seen anything like her before. All I knew was that part of me wanted, but couldn't, fight her and the other part wanted to run. Run like hell and never turn back.

Adorlee's smirk disappeared and was replaced with a serious, but haughty expression. She pursed her lips and straightened her shoulders back, staring down at me.

"Your name is Jasper Vitlock, mm?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

There was no point in denying since she did know, so I just curtly nodded.

"Well, _Jasper_," she paused, mimicking my earlier action, "I did not properly introduce myself to you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. You did. You said your name was Adorlee…"

If she had normal eyes, I bet she would have rolled them as she huffed. "Idiot. You already know my name. Vat you do not know is _vat_ I am. I sense you vood like to know very much, eh?"

I nodded, again.

She swatted her hand in my direction. "Well, you do not need to know, now. Later…"

Adorlee turned her head in my direction, as if daring me to challenge her declaration.

I didn't say anything, although I thought she was leading me on. She would start talking about something completely different in a matter of seconds.

"I start with zees, though. Two years ago, I vaz vandering through zeez very voods, when I heard you and your bruhzer, and seester arguing. I also later heard your mate baneesh you from your vampire coven. Am I correct, so far?"

The bitch was bringing up horrible memories like they were nothing. I felt my chest grow heavy as if I was sinking.

"Jasper," Adorlee sharply called, bringing me back to the surface.

I looked up into her two silvery orbs. "Am I correct?"

I nodded, again.

"Zay abandoned you afterwards, eh? Zay left you in zat clearing. Jasper, look around you. Do you notice anything familiar, mm?"

I glanced around and it didn't take me long to realize what she was asking. "Yeah. It's the same clearing."

"Oui. You rarely left zees clearing. For zee past two years, you have isolated yourself _here_."

"You point?" I spat.

"Jasper, I should tell you now. I am not human…" she trailed.

I feigned shock. "No! Really? I seriously never would have guessed that!"

Adorlee narrowed her shiny spheres at me. "Now, now. With zat attitude, we will never get through zees conversation."

I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes and focused on what she was about to tell me. "All right. What are you then?"

Adorlee inhaled and raised her head slowly, proudly. "I am Adorlee, one of zee few enchantresses left in zees world."

_Pardon?_

"An…enchantress?" I asked.

_No way._

"Zee modern term vood be 'vitch'," she clarified.

"Yes, I know…but…"

I was baffled. _A witch?_ I hadn't even known those things existed. I knew about werewolves and shapeshifters. But witches?

"It must come to you as a shock, of course, of course…" she said as if she was expecting it.

I cleared my throat. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, it did. I guess it never occurred to me that we weren't the only supernatural creatures out there."

Adorlee nodded. "You vampires zeenk you're so mighty and powerful, ven you don't even consider us enchantresses. We have zee _real_ power. If ve vanted to, the remaining of us could take over zee world. But we, unlike you, are much, much kinder."

She smiled, baring all teeth again.

I looked up at her silver eggs once more. "Adorlee, may I ask you a question?"

She nodded.

"I fail to see how this all connects to me. What do you want?"

She stopped grinning, yet there was still a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Ah, yes. Jasper, I have a geeft for you."

She fluidly walked towards me. I didn't move.

"A gift, huh? I hope you'll accept my apologies. I didn't get you anything," I said, still staring into her eyes.

Adorlee chuckled. She was now less than two feet from me.

"Zat's quite all right. Zee geeft will be quite enough for both of us."

_Oh, dear God. She's going to have her way with me…_

"Oh, really?" I asked. Her stupid silver orbs were sucking me in. I couldn't look away.

She nodded, whispering, "You know, Jasper, I believe you have been treated unfairly. I zeenk that it wasn't your fault that night when you lost control. And zat is why I'm going to give you another chance. Another chance to have a happy life. I truly believe you deserve at least zat much."

My voice was barely above a whisper. "And how do you plan on giving me that, Adorlee?"

She reached out her arm and pressed her waxen hand against the left side of my upper chest. "It is simple."

"I shall give you a beating heart."

_

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_

_**A/N:** Before I beg for reviews, I'd like to apologize in advance to people who actually speak French. Um, I don't. Sooo. My bad if I screwed things up. XP  
Also, everything you read in this chapter, I created. Adorlee. Her story. The black-blood-rapidly-decay thing. Yeah, I created that. I have to say that..._

_Well, what do you think. Does this chapter sort of make up for my being a bitch and not updating for a while? I hope it does!_

_I myself like the ending. I'm pretty proud! :)_

_Review please. I think **Violent Pixi** proved that reviews really do help the author write more. So come on! Review and tell me what you think! Ideas are, of course, always welcome. :)_

_BTW. You all are great. :)_

_*high-five*_

_-nikki. :)_


	4. Pain Without Love

**DISCLAIMER:** _Stephenie Meyer owns_ **Twilight**_, bitch! I'm just messing with them. :D_

**A/N:**_ Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Nikki, what happened to that quick update? Nikki, what happened to Bella being introduced in this chapter? Nikki, why the hell are closing your eyes when you type this?!"  
Um. Heh. (1). Quick update? Seriously? A quick update for me is, like, less than a month. HA. (2). Sorry! I just finished writing this and I've been up all night and I'm a monster. So I lied. SORRYSORRYSORRY. (3). See Number 2!_

_This is a short chapter. Yep. Short. But hey, better than nothing, hmm? I think I'm doing considerably good, because I'm it's 5:30 right now, and I've officially been up 24 hours. Oh, and an hour ago, I posted another chapter to my _**Harper's Island**_ fanfic "Choosing You". So I think I'm doing pretty good. *dozes off*_

_BIG ASS THANKS TO PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED LAST CHAPTER. You guys are my cupcakes. Love you!  
Keep reviewing! Enjoy!!_

_-nikki. :)_

**My Sudden, Cold Beating Heart  
**_Chapter Three -- "Pain Without Love…"_

_She nodded, whispering, "You know, Jasper, I believe you have been treated unfairly. I zeenk that it wasn't your fault that night when you lost control. And zat is why I'm going to give you another chance. Another chance to have a happy life. I truly believe you deserve at least zat much."_

_My voice was barely above a whisper. "And how do you plan on giving me that, Adorlee?"_

_She reached out her arm and pressed her waxen hand against the left side of my upper chest. "It is simple."_

_"I shall give you a beating heart."_

***

I should have ran. I don't know if I would have made it far, but I could have tried. I would have attempted anything to escape.

I felt it as soon as Adorlee touched my chest. The hurt was so forceful that I could no longer keep my eyes trained on hers and looked down.

I'm not sure what I expected to find, but it definitely wasn't what I saw.

Adorlee's hand was slowly slicing through my skin easily like butter. Before I knew it, her hand was fully enclosed in my upper left chest cavity. I desperately tried to move my arms, but they were pinned down to my sides. Damn bitch was using her witching powers on me.

I had experienced pain before. I had thought vampire bites were painstaking, but compared to having a hand fully sunk into my tough exterior of vamp skin, they were like a walk in a field of daisies.

A painful moan escaped my trembling lips when I heard my skin tear as she stretched it, plunging her head deeper into chest, breaking ribs in the process. Every crack and snap, I cried out and sobbed dry tears. She continued to grope around until finally I felt her grasp something. I don't know how I was able to even think through this excruciating pain, but I knew that when she grabbed hold onto whatever it was, that something awful was about to happen.

She had grabbed hold of my still, lifeless heart and started squeezing it. I screamed out in agonizing pain, knowing no one would hear me. For once, I wished that someone would find me. I knew they probably wouldn't have been able to do anything, but still…

She loosened her grip on my heart and then squeezed again and kept repeating the process. On the fourth squeeze, I let out the same insufferable scream and my legs, too weak to prop myself up any longer, went out on me. I fell backwards to the ground.

Adorlee's hand was removed as I fell. I was, for the first time _in a long time_, tired, but I still looked up to see if my heart came out with Adorlee's hand. I felt small relief when I saw her hand was empty, but it soon turned to anguish as I realized that the dark, oozing substance that was dripping down her arm wasn't just any type of ooze.

It was my goddamn ooze. My fucking blood.

Adorlee tilted her head and at the sudden shift of her body, my chest exploded. Well, it felt as though it did.

I heard the pounding in my ears first. It was two thumps. Something that I had heard countless of times over and over throughout the years I had existed -- only the sound always came from other people. Humans. The human heartbeat was something I had tried to attune myself to. Never, _ever_, would I have thought that I would hear the very same heartbeat coming from _my_ chest.

The sound traveled through my body and accompanied the next heartbeat. I lifted my left hand to my chest, expecting to find a hole and more oozy blood, maybe even the heart itself. Instead, I found perfect, smooth skin. I was too exhausted to look, but the hole was no longer there.

The pain sure as hell was.

I may have temporarily forgotten it, but it came flooding back and I cried out again. I could feel my pores near the top of my forehead begin to perspire and beads of sweat trickle down the side.

My vision started to blur, and my body became too tired to move. My left hand slid from the left side of my chest and fell to the grass beside me.

My chest heaved and took a now necessary breath as my eyes slowly closed.

One last thought was able to register in my slow-processing mind: _I feel…human._

Fuck.

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**A/N:**_ Thoughts? Tell meh! Thankyouu! _

_Hate? Dislike? Meh? Like? Love? Want a cupcake? Me too._

_Review!_

_-nikki. :)_

* * *


	5. Unfamiliar Sensations

**DISCLAIMER:**_ I still don't own _**Twilight**_ or any characters. I own this plotline, though. Take it from me, and I'll bitchslap you with a cupcake. I will, I swear. :)_

**A/N:**_ Erm. Don't hurt me. If you've read this so far, you know I'm horrible at updating, so...ha...woops? Anyway! This is another short chapter, but it progresses..a little. Heh. _

_I'm a monster, y'all. Sorry, FFbabes._

_Oh, and I've found the secret to getting reviews....offer food to you guys. It's okay. I love food, too. A little too much. I'm skinny and everything, but food and I have an ongoing love affair that needs to STOP. Ughh. x__x_

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story! And a thanks to those of you who've even taken the time to read it. I love my FFbabes! :)_

_Read on!_

_-nikki. :)_

* * *

**My Sudden, Cold Beating Heart  
**_Chapter Four -- "Unfamiliar Sensations…"_

_My vision started to blur, and my body became too tired to move. My left hand slid from the left side of my chest and fell to the grass beside me._

_My chest heaved and took a now necessary breath as my eyes slowly closed. _

_One last thought was able to register in my slow-processing mind: I feel…human._

_Fuck._

***

The hard, rapid downfall of rain startled me awake. I could vaguely hear the constant pattering as the raindrops continued to fall in the mud surrounding me, droplets of mud splashing me. My eyelids fluttered open and I saw…nothing. Everything was pitch black. I couldn't make out any outlines of trees, let alone anything. The moon was hidden behind the incessant swarm of clouds; stars weren't even visible.

I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my eyes to the obscurity of the scene around me. I got nothing.

Instinct told me that I needed to get up and moving, so I tried to turn on my left side. Consequently, a piercing pain shot through me and I cried out in pain. Deciding to just remain flat on my back, I gasped for air.

_What._

I took a deep, long breath and held it just to prove I didn't need it. _I'm a vampire and vampires don't need to breathe. I don't need to breathe because I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire…._

My lungs began to flutter and started to feel like they were about to explode. My arms started to tremble and my fists began to clench and unclench. I was suffocating and I was sure that if I kept this up, I would die of asphyxia.

I opened my mouth and sucked in tasteless oxygen, spluttering up the water that fell into my mouth. I could feel my heart violently pounding in my chest, scolding my sudden harsh action.

And for the umpteenth time tonight, realization struck me. My heart was beating. My lungs were breathing. My body was shivering. My head was spinning. My mind was racing.

_Dude. Holy hell._

I was alive. Like _really alive._

I rolled my head from side to side, trying to get a clearer visual of where I was. Nothing, but pitch black darkness. All I could hear was the heavy, constant downfall of the icy rain on and around me. I could barely hear my unfamiliar, shaky breathing over the loud drone of the bitter precipitation.

And it was cold as _fuck._

I never could remember what it was like to be cold. During winter, I remembered I'd often look out at the falling snow and occasionally wish that, for just once, it'd be nice to feel chilly and curl up by a fire with a cup of hot chocolate, _(not that I'd know what it'd taste like. I had forgotten all tastes of every human food and drink)_, and a nice Civil War novel.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I was freezing and pretty sure that my body wasn't giving off _any_ heat whatsoever. I couldn't even tremble anymore, my body was paralyzed with intense and sharp coldness.

The soaked clothes clung to my body as I lay still in a puddle of mud. Even if I wanted to get up, I wouldn't be able to -- the pain engulfing the left side of the chest wouldn't let me.

_Adorlee._ Where the hell was that bitch?

Adorlee was nowhere to be found. I knew she wasn't anywhere near because I was fairly sure that I'd be able to see those freaky eyes of hers no matter what. I'd also be able to smell her since there would be no mistaking that scent of hers. So she left me stranded…in the middle of woods…in the pouring rain…with no help at all.

It was like I was having déjà vu all over again.

My blood circulation was slow and I felt tired. _Real_ tired. I had small hopes that maybe rage from Adorlee's crazy ass disappearance would help warm me up, but it did nothing. I was too tired to even get mad.

I felt myself fading and I could barely feel the rain anymore. I was so cold, I was numb.

Drifting off to wherever, my eyelids fluttered and felt relieved when I saw it.

The lights to Heaven.

It was small at first, illuminating the fact that I was about a foot away from a nearby road. I wanted to keep my eyes open and watch it come for me, but my vision went blurry again.

I remembered being a little confused when the light split into two circles and grew bigger, closer. I heard crunching of gravel and a screech of…of…_tires?_

I blinked and heard a car door open and loudly slam shut. A shadow moved in front of the headlights, preventing me from seeing whoever it was. Not like I would have been able to anyway.

My eyelids finally shut closed and all I remembered hearing was, "Jasper? Hey…no…stay with me. Stay with me!"

* * *

**A/N:** _I want thoughts on this chapter. :)_

_Next chapter will DEFINITELY be longer. There'll be dialogue...between HUMANS. HUAAHHAHA. (o_o?)_

_I'm going to try to get as many updates for this story in as I can before the beginning of November. I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the first time *insert excited cheer* and I'll be occupied with that. But you never know, you might get an update. =]_

_Up next: Bella. Jasper. Cozy, warm fires. Nakedness._

_Nice image in your head? Enjoy your tease, you pervs. :)_

_-nikki. :)_


	6. Human Conversations

**DISCLAIMER:**_ I do not own Twilight. I own this bitchin' storyline though. :)_

**A/N:**_ It took me a bit to write this chapter, but EVERY night I wrote a little of it. This is THE chapter everyone has been waiting for. The first interaction between our dearly beloved Jazzy and Bella! Yay!_

_I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter! You guys are the best cupcakes ever. :)_

_This chapter goes out to those who kept saying they wished my chapters were longer. Your wish was my command. This chapter is my longest yet. :)_

_Enjoy && Review!  
-nikki. :)_

**

* * *

**

My Sudden, Cold Beating Heart

_Chapter Five -- "Human Conversations"_

_Everything was dark, a big black hole. I looked around and saw black. Even the ground I was standing on was nothing but a black space. _

_Was I dreaming? I pinched my skin. "Ouch," I muttered._

"_Silly, silly Jasper. You ought not to do that since you're human now. You could hurt yourself," a peppy voice trilled. _

_I spun around and saw…Alice. _

_How I could see her in this darkness, I had no idea. She had on a pretty purple dress that hung loose around her tiny feminine curves. Her hair was in its usual spiky hair style, one that only she could sport and make it look good. Her eyes were as golden as ever and her translucent skin almost glowed with happiness._

_Ironically, I didn't feel intense longing or sudden sadness. I felt…not necessarily emotionless, but…okay._

_I took another quick glance around and asked, "Where are we?"_

_Alice tilted her head and replied, "I thought you knew."_

_I held my hands up in a questioning position. "I don't._

_She shrugged. "Beats me."_

_We stared at each other before she smiled and sat on the ground, folding her legs underneath her. She patted the space next to her, inviting me to join her._

_I was still a little hesitant about walking around. I couldn't tell whether the blackness under me was ground or really a hole I'd fall in. _

_Alice rolled her eyes and patted the ground again. Reluctantly, I slowly and steadily stepped towards her until I finally sat crisscrossed next to her._

_She rolled her eyes again and smirked. "I guess it's wise you be careful. You're quite fragile now."_

_I glared at her. "I'm not a human, Alice."_

_Alice pursed her lips and cocked her left eyebrow, giving me a total "bullshit" look. _

"_Oh, really?" _

"_Yes, really. I'm a vampire. I have been for over a hundred years," I retorted, a bit sharper than I meant to._

"_Well, if you were a vampire, then why am I looking at a bright blue-eyed blonde with an almost peachy-colored skin tone?" _

_I looked down at my arms and hands. They were exactly how she described them. Peachy-ish._

_As I opened my mouth to speak, Alice cut me off. "Yes, Jasper. You _really_ do have blue eyes.""_

"_That's impossible."_

"_Apparently not," she shot back._

_I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "What are you even doing here? I thought you abandoned me."_

"_Oh, I did. And as for how I got here, I haven't the faintest idea," she hummed._

"_Thanks."_

"_You're welcome."_

_I rubbed my hands together and gazed at Alice. "What's new with you?"_

"_Nothing really. Been traveling," she said. "Yourself?"_

"_Nothing really. I got transformed into a human by some kind of fucking witch," I replied._

"_Hey!" Alice snapped. "Language!"_

"_Forgive me. It's been a while since I've been around a woman."_

"_That's for sure." _

_Alice cast a side-glance at me and focused her attention on her hands resting in her lap. "Listen, Jasper…"_

"_Don't say it, Alice."_

"_I just want you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just you were causing me so much––"_

"––_stress over constantly trying to prevent me from snacking on a human in chemistry class?" I finished for her._

_Alice's face hardened and her lips pressed together in a thin, straight line. "Yes."_

"_Well, you don't have to worry anymore. I won't be eating a human anytime soon," I said. "I'm fairly sure that the human me dislikes cannibalism."_

_Alice smiled. "Well, good." _

_She stood up in one fluid movement and offered a hand to help me up. "It's been nice chatting, but I hear Gucci just released their winter line, and I really must be going."_

_I furrowed my eyebrows. "How are you going to get out of here?"_

_Alice huffed then giggled. "Really, Jasper? Isn't it obvious? This isn't real. It's a dream. You're _dreaming_. None of this is actually happening."_

_She turned away, and, as she was sashaying away from me, she yelled over her shoulder, "Watch out where you walk. You might fall into that big gaping hole right there…"_

***

My eyelids flew open and I looked around. No blackness, no darkness. _No Alice._

The stupid strange beating in my heart seemed to hurt at the thought of her. No matter how careless I might have acted towards her in my first ever dream, I didn't change the reality of the situation. I missed her and she wasn't coming back.

_Just ignore it. The pain will go away if you ignore it._

The emotional pain anyway.

My side was hurting but not as severely. It was a dull, minor pain, but nonetheless, it hurt. I had forgotten what the average pain was like for a human and now experiencing it, I could boldly say that it was almost unbearable for me.

At least I wasn't cold anymore. I was wrapped in countless numbers of layers of blankets and afghans and there was a roaring fire active in the fireplace off to the side of the room.

_Speaking of the room…_

It seemed to be a living room. I was lying on the couch and if I rolled my head one way, I could see a recliner and loveseat off to the side. There were picture frames on the fireplace mantle of a girl and some men, but my vision wasn't quite adjusted and still a little fuzzy around the edges.

I heard someone bustling around in the next room and I tried to raise myself up on my forearms, but my body felt as though it weighed a ton. I fell back against the couch with a quiet huff of disappointment.

I wanted to get up. I had no idea where I was or who was in the other room. All I could make out was a man and a girl whispering in low voices. Then I heard them walk closer and a door open. The sound of rain became clearer and I realized it must have been the front door.

"Thanks again, Jake," the girl said.

"Yeah, but I'll be back tomorrow," he replied. Then in a lower tone, "If he tries anything funny, you call me right away. Got it, Bells?"

"Oh, whatever, Jake!" she gave a small laugh. "You better go before the storm picks up. Billy's probably worried sick."

"Nah. He's watching the Dallas game. You know how much he loves football," the man named Jake replied with a chuckle.

A silent moment passed and my ears were just itching for more conversation. I was never one for gossip, but I had no idea who these people were and any and every little detail helped.

"Okay, well remember what I said about me coming back tomorrow. Take care, Bells," said Jake.

"Yeah, you too. See ya," the girl said and I heard a two clicks after she shut the door, no doubt locking it.

Her footsteps got closer and I tensed. When she finally came into view, we both gasped. When compared hers was a soft, quiet intake of breath and mine was an unfamiliar, noisy suction of air.

I recognized this girl as though I had known her my whole life.

It was Bella Swan.

"You're awake already," she whispered.

"Yeah," I croaked out. My voice was raspy and hoarse and _just plain gross_.

I felt something rise in my throat, but it wasn't bile or anything. I wanted to scratch my throat open and let it out. Before I could prevent it, I made a terrible hacking sound and out came…nothing. But the itching sensation was gone and I was relieved of the annoyance.

"Oh, are you okay?" Bella asked, her hands timidly reaching out to me to prop a pillow behind my head.

I grunted. "What was that?"

Bella kneeled on the ground beside me so now we were eye level. "What was what?" she quietly asked.

"What did I just do?" I gratingly repeated.

Her eyes widened then squinted. "You…you just coughed. Why? Are you hurting?"

"I…coughed?" I asked. I hadn't coughed in…a while. _What an annoying feeling…_

She unsurely nodded her head.

I had been around many people, and, sure, a lot of them had been sick. They coughed, hacked, sniffled, and all I could remember thinking was that it sure must suck to be sick. I also remembered feeling a tad bit smug that I would never have to go through that ordeal again.

_Karma, you bitch._

The pillow Bella had fluffed behind me raised me up a bit more and I could breathe better. It was a foreign feeling. Heaving my chest up and down was exhausting. _Breathing_ was exhausting. How humans did it on a daily basis, I'll never know.

My vision wasn't as blurry, but it was…different. I couldn't see the particles that floated throughout the air or unknown spectrums of colors anymore. Everything was toned down to a second-rate dull version. I was fairly sure that my eyesight was spectacular for a human, but still, it was just so damned peculiar. Almost as though, I was seeing the world through another's eyes.

"Are you warm now?" her voice peeped out.

My eyes shifted towards Bella, who was situated almost a foot and half away from my face. She was different from when I last saw her. _Way different._

Bella's hair wasn't as long as it used to be. It was a little bit more than shoulder length, but still a dark brown with a slight curl to the bottom edges. She was paler than last time, too -- her skin was a waxen and pallid. What really surprised me though was her facial features. It had only been two years since I had last seen her, but she had the face of someone who'd gone through hell and back.

The deep chocolate brown eyes weren't exactly lifeless, but there was no spark or twinkle hiding behind the lens. Frown lines were on the precipice of revealing themselves and there were two or three wrinkles creasing her forehead. Her cheeks looked like they hadn't seen a rush of blood in quite a long time, either.

Bella had changed; she looked tired.

She was wearing a black sweater and an old pair of worn jeans. She still had the habit of biting her lip as she was doing it now. It brought me slight relief to know that there was still something that hadn't changed.

"Yeah. Much better now," I answered.

I was definitely much better. I wiggled my toes and inwardly cheered that my body could move something other than my head.

Bella let out a small sigh of relief. "That's good. When we found you, you were so cold. Your temperature must've been under ninety."

I ignored everything she said except for one thing. "We?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. My friend, Jake, just left. We were the ones that found you." Bella replied nervously.

She was still as timid as ever. She always had been, especially around me -- mainly because everyone thought I might eat her. Or maybe it was my hostility towards her. Who knows? God only knows what she was thinking right now -- seeing a vampire-turned-human must have been a shock to her.

I blinked my eyes and wriggled under the blankets. "Can you help me up?" I rasped out.

Bella immediately refused. "You can't get up. You're in no health to stand on your own two feet."

I managed to roll my eyes and immediately hoped the didn't see me do it. I didn't want to offend her. She had saved my life. Her and that Jake, whoever he was.

"I don't wanna stand, just sit up. Can you help me?" I clarified and asked again.

"Oh," she said. "Yeah, okay."

She stood up and went behind the armrest, tucking her arms under mine. With her pulling efforts and my weak pushing ones, I was finally sitting against the armrest with more pillows under my back. It was actually quite comfy.

"Thanks."

Bella nodded and perched herself on the opposite armrest with her feet on the couch cushion and her face in propped up in her hands.

"So how'd you find me?" I asked. Truth be told, I had been dying to know this answer. It had been so fortunate that she had been driving along that same road that I was near.

Bella pursed her lips and bit the inside of her cheek before answering. "Jake and I were driving back from dinner in Port Angeles and when we were driving along the road, he saw something, I mean, he saw _you_ lying off to the side. The closest hospital was too far away and we didn't want to waste any time, so we just brought you back to my house."

"Huh," I replied. "How'd you get me in the car?"

A tiny, almost undetectable smile crept upon her lips. "Jake's a pretty big guy."

"Ah," was all I could think of to say to that.

This so-called Jake said he would be back tomorrow; I'd have to thank him. In his earlier tone when speaking to Bella, he had an obvious hostility towards me, so maybe this would ease him. _Like I'd try anything funny. Hell, I can barely function._

"Hey, Jasper," Bella squeaked out, interrupting my thoughts.

I raised my eyebrows at her. She had placed her hands in her lap and started to bite her lip again, darting her eyes from her clasped hands to me.

Finally, she swallowed and settled her wandering gaze on me. "I…well…um…"

Bella leaned in, her eyes wide, and whispered in a hushed tone, "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, even though I knew very well what she meant.

"You're not…I mean…you're…you know…" she stuttered.

"Alive?" I finished for her.

Bella bashfully nodded.

Subconsciously, I knew this discussion was around the corner; I didn't realize it would be tonight, though. Debating whether I should ask her if this could wait until tomorrow, I decided not to. She deserved the right to know why the vampire that tried to eat her two years ago was suddenly lying on her couch with a pulse.

"Bella, two years ago, when I attacked you -- sorry about that by the way." It was a suckass apology; I'd work on it later.

She waved it off and motioned for me to go on. _Bless her. _

"Later that night," I closed my eyes. I tried not to think about Alice, let alone talk about her. It was just so hard to deal with the pain and now that I actually had a heart, it seemed to only make things worse.

Strangely clearing my throat, I tried again, "Later that night, Alice left me."

I opened my eyes and whispered, "They all left me."

I heard Bella's sharp intake of breath and the unmistakable flash of shock and hurt flitter across her face. The look in her eyes was so pitiful and knowing that my heart thrashed in pain at the sight.

Bella's lower lip quivered as she mouthed, "Me too."

_Oh, shit._

How I forgot that Edward did the same exact thing to her, I hadn't a clue. I didn't know the exact details, but it was quite obvious that the Cullens hadn't taken her with them and Edward was clearly not here.

I nodded and hesitantly took a deep breath. It actually felt nice breathing in a lot of air.

"Why?" she asked almost soundlessly.

"Why she left?"

Bella nodded.

_Now or never, Jasper. Just tell her everything and be done with it. C'mon man._

"Alice left because, basically, I was a failure in her eyes. She said she was so upset with my attacking you that she couldn't do it anymore. She was tired of having to keep watch over me every second we were around humans. She said they were leaving and it would be best if I didn't join them."

To simply put, my heart was in shreds. Every feeling and emotion I had been avoiding since that night two years ago came rushing back and hit me with full force.

I felt a stinging sensation overcome my eyes. I had no idea what it was and it hurt like a motherfucker. Okay, it didn't hurt _that_ bad, but the tingly feeling was surprising. Then something trickled down my cheeks. I somehow managed to pull my right arm out of the mountain high stack of covers and lifted it to my face. I softly touched it and looked at my hand.

It was a teardrop.

I was crying.

_Son of a bitch, I was crying!_

More tears started flowing and I looked up at Bella who's appearance almost mirrored me. Her face glistened with sparkling wetness as I was sure mine did the same.

Suddenly, I did the most abnormal and preposterous thing: I laughed. My chest hurt, but I couldn't stop the bubbling laughter rising from within me.

Surprise was clearly plastered on Bella's face; her mouth gaped a little. Couldn't blame her though. I had just confessed a clearly heartbreaking story to her -- one that she could and probably was relating to -- yet here I was making a mockery of it.

I couldn't stop it, though. So long I had wanted and wished with every ounce of might I had in me to be able to cry. Never having that option before, I felt trapped. I couldn't let any emotion. Screaming and destroying things did nothing to calm me.

But now…I could cry. Hell, I could cry fucking teardrops on a goddamn guitar if I wanted to.

So I kept laughing with relieving happiness and crying with utter sadness, all the while looking at Bella. The surprise was still imaged across her features, but a tiny smile hinted around the corners of her dark red lips.

"I…I'm crying," I told her.

_Obviously._

_Shut up._

She nodded her head and gave me an encouraging smile. The smile looked foreign on her frownish face, but I could tell it was sincere.

Soon, after who knows how long, the waterworks ceased and my breathing slowed. Bella was still watching me with no judgment whatsoever in her brown eyes, it almost amazed me.

"I'm sorry. I…I don't know what came over me," I apologized.

_Wasn't very manly of you, Jasper. _

_Ass._

"It's fine," Bella said soothingly. "It helps to cry."

Another smile but not quite as bright.

I coughed again, clearing my throat. It wasn't as bad the second time now that I knew what to expect.

Now that my little episode was over with, I decided to move forward in my angst-ridden story.

"Um, well, yeah. So after Alice left, I was a total wreck you could say. I stayed in one spot most of the time and only hunted when necessary." I paused when Bella's eyebrows rose and shoulders tensed in response.

"Animals. I hunted animals," I clarified.

Bella's shoulders slouched in relief before she gave me an apologetic look. I gave her a half-smile before resuming.

"But then earlier in the evening, I think, I came across this smell. It…it enticed me and I couldn't help but follow to its source. That's when…I passed out."

I paused to gauge her reaction and I was fairly surprised to find Bella leaning forward with her eyes wide, urging me to continue.

So I did. "I woke up to find this woman, or at least I think it was a she, with some kinda weird French accent. Her name was Adorlee and believe me when I say this, but she was a witch. To cut a long story short, she said she wanted to give me another chance at happiness.

"I'll spare you the gruesome details, but let's just say she really grabbed hold of me and gave me a beating heart. I passed out afterwards and I remember waking up in the cold rain and, well, you know the rest," I finished.

I was slightly baffled to find a still hunched over Bella looking incredibly fascinated with my telling of what happened.

"Wow," she murmured. "So she was a witch…and made you human? Just like that?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It hurt like a mother, too."

Concern replaced her marveled expression and she immediately asked if I was still in pain.

"Nah," I lied.

Her mouth twisted into a small frown of doubt. "Don't lie."

"I'm not."

Bella already did enough and didn't need to do anything else for me. Besides, the pain was still dull feeling. I'd be okay…at least until morning.

Bella gave a small 'hmph' before asking, "Are you still warm?"

"Oh, yes. Very," I answered. The first blanket that was wrapped around me was a soft, velvety one. It was smooth and felt quite nice against my bare skin.

_Bare…what?_

I peered down at what available skin I could see. I was obviously not wearing the drenched attire from earlier, but it was beginning to come clear that I wasn't wearing _anything at all._

"What's wrong? You're a little pale, Jasper." Bella said. "You _are_ in pain, aren't you? I knew it."

She got up from her position on the armrest and started to walk towards the kitchen.

"Bella, I'm naked."

It was the worst possible sentence to say. Ever. Especially when my voice didn't come out in its normal tone, but rather in a lower, and more huskier one.

It was one of those incredibly awkward moments. The ones that make you stop dead in your tracks…like Bella _just_ did.

She spun around and, obviously taken back, said, "What did you just say?"

I babbled, "Oh…that's not…I mean…I didn't mean…fuck. Sorry!"

Everything I was saying came out in a complete mix, so trying one last time, I slowly said, "That's not how I wanted it to come out."

A small blush flooded her cheeks and she let out a weak laugh. "Oh, ha. Right…of course."

I could feel heat rising to my cheeks too and I could only presume that I was blushing also. A weird feeling that one was. My face felt like it was on fire. I wanted to shake the covers off me, but then that would reveal my…to her…

Bella interrupted my almost perverse mental imagery. "Your clothes were just so soaked, there would have been no way we could've warmed you up fast enough, and you were just so cold. The clothes just had to go."

I looked at her incredulously. "Did you…?"

Bella drew in a quick breath. "Oh, dear God, no! Jake was the one who…" she trailed on.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Yep."

Bella shifted weight from one foot to another before finally saying, "Well, I think we both need to get some sleep. You've been through quite an ordeal and a good night's rest will do you good. Okay?"

Nodding, I said, "You're probably right."

Bella offered another smile and turned to walk out of the room. Before she exited, she looked over her shoulder. "Goodnight, Jasper."

I tilted my head in her direction. "Uh, yeah. You too."

She left the room and I heard her dragging footsteps trudge upstairs and across the floorboards. It was only when they stopped could I finally relax.

I slouched back down in the couch and huddled underneath the thick layers of blankets. It felt real nice.

I buried a tiny smile of contentment into the pillow. That felt real nice too.

Everything simply felt nice.

_That Bella…she's real nice too,_ I thought as I drifted off to sleep.

_

* * *

_

**A/N:**_ If anything, this is a chapter I'd love a review on. It was the first conversation between the two dolls, so I'd like to know what you think. I hope you enjoyed what you've read so far. See? You have everything I promised: Jasper. Bella. Cozy, warm fire. Nakedness. _

_Sure, it's not the nakedness you would have preferred, but you get a pleasant image. I'm sure we'd all love to warm dear Jazzy up. :)_

_Anywho. Review, my dear cupcakes, review!_

What's up next? Jasper meets Jacob && we get some insight on darlin' Jake and Bella's relationship. Huahahahaha.

_Brace yourself. This story will get good._

_-nikki. :)_


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTE 2

_My apologies in advance for the fake chapter. :/_

_I just wanted to let everyone know that every one of my fanfics will be put on hold until the end of November. _

_I will be entering NaNoWriMo. For those of you who do not know what that is, it is National Novel Writing Month. To simply put, I will be attempting to write my own novel! _

_Here is the link to see my ongoing process: http: //www . nanowrimo .org/eng/user/536668. (Take the spaces out.) My username is **stranger1011017** in case the link doesn't work. _

_One November comes to a close, I promise I will continue my fanfics. =)_

_Wish me luck and happy early Thanksgiving to everyone! _

_I love all my cupcakes! (cupcakes = you all.)_

_-nikki. =)_


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